The Polite Burglar: a comedy chat story script
A burglar texts a homeowner to apologise and ask where the spoons are. A twelve-message original script, about 42 seconds as a video, ready to open in the editor.
The full script (12 messages)
Shown in neutral bubbles. The editor draws it in the Android Messages style. The first four messages open on the Free plan; the rest need a paid plan.
About this script
A burglar texts a homeowner to apologise and ask where the spoons are. twelve messages, Android Messages style, about 42 seconds as a video, and Unknown kicks it off with "Hello. Sorry to bother you. I am in your kitchen.". Characters: Una and Unknown, all invented. Only two people speak, which suits any plan. You need Standard or above to use Android Messages; Free accounts will see a prompt to upgrade.
Pacing it beat by beat
The longest bubble, message 5, reads "I am making soup. Yours smells like it is going off." (11 words). Open on "Hello. Sorry to bother you. I am in your kitchen." before you reach it.
Finish with "Please leave.", then "Of course. I left a bowl for you.", then a long pause before "It is a good soup.". Questions: three. Everything here can be edited in the ChatsRat editor before you export.
Making the video
Press the button to load The Polite Burglar in the editor with the Android Messages look. Extras in this look: typing dots, read marks and reactions; missing: an online status. A typing indicator before the final line sells the reveal.
On Free you get four messages, up to "Second drawer. Why?"; the remaining eight are on paid plans. Say it is fiction in the caption. You can change any line or name once the sample is open in the editor.
Part two hook
For Part 2: the burglar returns, still polite, with a loaf of bread. End on "It is a good soup." and tell viewers in the caption that the story continues; a small hint in the comments keeps them waiting.
Tips
- Read the script aloud once; if "I am making soup. Yours smells like it is going off." trips you up, shorten it.
- After "It is a good soup.", wait two seconds, then show the ending card.
- Rename Una and Unknown to invented names of your own and it becomes your original version.
- Post Part 2 within two days so viewers of this comedy episode come back.
- Place "I am calling the police." on its own for a full second after the opener.
Questions
Is The Polite Burglar free to use?
Yes, the script is free to read and to load. The editor opens the first four messages on the Free plan; the full twelve need a paid plan. Exports on Free carry a visible ChatsRat watermark, and every export carries an invisible mark the verify page can read.
Is this story based on a real event or a real person?
No. It is original fiction with invented characters. Do not present it as a real conversation, and put "fictional chat" in your caption.
How long is the comedy script as a video?
About 42 seconds counting twelve messages with a short beat between each. Add a second or two for the typing indicator and the ending card.
Can I change the names and lines?
Yes. Open it in the editor, replace any line and any name, and export your own version. Keep the characters invented and adult, and keep the content free of real people, minors and anything sexual.
Original fiction. This script and its characters are invented. It is not based on a real event or a real person. Do not present it as a real conversation, and label what you publish as a fictional chat. See the Acceptable Use policy.
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